The First Eight Months of Oklahoma City.
LAMENTATIONS OF A. BOOMER, ESQ.
Man that is born of a Boom is of few days and less nights. He cometh forth in a shadow and doeth much hopping under a cloud mostly.
He taketh the first train, in his mind, for the ungodly brakeman who calleth the boomer "a jay," is joyous in his lying, putteth him on the last car of the train which start-eth not. He holdeth in his wrath though the sun goeth down upon it. He lieth by the wayside while the main track is blocked with cattle cars and hireth the wicked to swear for him.
At noon he shall cross the line and at the second watch pull manna and stick his stake where he listeth in the promised land, for hath not the railroad advertise-ment said so?
Yet he cometh like a thief in the night, and his baggage materalizes in a far off kingdom; and he hath chills in the marrow of his bones and Noah's dove had more rest than he.
And when the morrow is come and he goeth forth to ask for manna, they give him "soup," and when he would plant his stake, he hath to pay pieces of silver or bear the stake away.
For, lo ! while he laid on the side track and yearned, the deputy marshals went by on the main track, and the Indian agent and his cousins and aunts, and he of the army and those who are moonshiners planted many stakes and they lie about him like the spears of an army. And he saith am I not in a hell of a fix ?
And he roameth around and is sad for the dust bloweth into his innermost secrets, and the rain weteth his outer-most parts and he saith aloud; "Is this Oklahoma?" and the echo answering him says, "You bet it is, kid !"
And when the morrow cometh he goeth again, and under the shadow of his slicker he sticketh yet another stake, and forthwith he heareth the voice of the Gentile crying, "Come off that roost; begorra, I'm the man that sthuck the first peg there upon" and he foldeth up his stake and departeth toward Jericho-which is translated
under the freight house where he sleepeth. And he fall-eth among many thieves and lemonade peddlers, and saith, who hath woe and heaviness of heart and looketh into a mirror, and seeth the man aforesaid, Selah !
And again he cometh, and with the silver his mother hath given he buyeth a lot, and he saith here will I plant my vine and herewith will I go into the fig business, and sell hard cider to the unannointed. And ere he hath yet gotten the two boards, which he that selleth lumber hath given him for the price of a farm, nailed together, cometh a host of Philistines. He which is playing head of the city and centurion of the guard and the marshals smite him sore and say: "The city hath taken this for a passage way; get the hither." and though "hither" seemeth a long way off, he getteth.
And he girdeth his grip about him and goeth forth and selleth much linen and fine raiment that he might entertain himself at a lunch counter. And he saith, "Is thy servant a dog?" I will arise and go unto a ranch and feed swine (for the balance of this resolution see King James' version) but Kickapoos, the Indian, and Chicka-saw the halfbreed, have been many moons ahead of him in getting a ranch job. So he goeth into the interior part of the wood, while the woodpecker singeth "There was a damphool in Ohio," and he kicketh himselp lustily. And he saith, "In my father's house are many calves fattened; lo, I will go fill myself with veal to the brim." But when he remembreth there are many ties to count, before he getteth at his father's veal, he cometh yet again within the gates of the city and setteth up as a real estate agent. And is it not written the last end of that man is worse than his first; and he hath much tribulation to make both ends meet and keep covering thereon. Selah!